He gave them permission

"He gave them permission"
By Bob Perks © 2001

I just returned from a wonderful trip to Sun Valley, Idaho. I spoke to
one of my favorite groups. The people of AFLAC Insurance were holding a
sales conference celebrating their accomplishments from last year and
looking forward to the challenges of this year. I have spoken to about
15 such groups scattered around the U.S. All made possible because I
brought my story to them at their national conference.

Sun Valley is a very popular ski resort that draws people from around
the world. Upon my arrival, the first ten people I spoke with hardly
spoke English. I thought I landed in Europe by mistake.

I kept bragging to everyone back home that I was staying at the Sun
Valley Lodge.
If you are an old movie buff you might have seen "Sun Valley Serenade."
They actually have it playing on their cable system 24 hours a day,
seven days a week.

Upon arrival I drove up to the front door of the Lodge and was greeted
by a doorman in a long over coat and the appropriate matching hat. He
opened my car door and another opened the huge front door to the Lodge.
As usual I was tired and cranky from the trip. The fact that I could
barely understand what the desk clerk was saying only added to my
frustration. Suddenly from behind me a well dressed woman approached
the desk and demanded attention. She wanted to change her suite to
another for reasons even I, an English speaking American couldn't
understand. The desk clerk was polite and immediately searched for
another room.
I was given my room assignment and I asked if I could access my room
from this main entrance. She replied, "No. You are not staying in the
Lodge sir. You are in the Inn." "The Inn? I was told that I was
staying in the Lodge."

"The Inn is down the road next to the hospital." she continued. I could
feel the glare of the woman next to me. I turned my head toward her and
she smugly fluttered her eyes and turning her head, shot her nose into
the air. I think she sucked all of the oxygen out of the lobby for I
suddenly felt small and insignificant.

I rushed out the door and headed to the "lesser place" with no doorman
and entered the hotel. I found a young girl who guided me to the main
lobby. I approached the desk clerk there and asked where my room was
located. "Up those stairs." "Is there an elevator?" "Not in the Inn!"
"Is there a restaurant here?" "Not in the Inn! Just a cafeteria." she
said.

A Cafeteria. The Inn was NOT the Lodge. I dragged my three bags up
the two flights of stairs and headed down this very long hallway. Of
course my room had to be the very last one. The room was similar to many
average hotels I had stayed in on my journey on the road.

As soon as I got in I called my wife to share this story with her. She
could sense my disappointment and frustration. After I settled in, I
sat quietly for a few moments and thought about what had happened.
These feelings I had, were they real or imagined? Did the lady smugly
write me off as one of the poor souls who couldn't afford a suite. Were
the words "Not in the Inn!" said to put me in my place and remind me
that I wasn't significant enough?

No, I created those images in my mind and looked for words and actions
of others to confirm those feelings. I was in an environment I felt
undeserving of and tried desperately to allow others to put me in my
place. I gave them permission to put me down.

Have you ever been in a situation that for whatever unfounded reasons
you felt smaller than or less important than, the others around you?
Have you ever had a conversation with someone and felt inferior to them?

I have always prided myself in being able to speak with anyone. Yet
there are times when my self image is tarnished and I lower myself to a
level unworthy of any human being.

But I choose to do this to myself. I give permission to someone who
thinks they are more important than I to look down at me. But my
friend, there is no one more important than you. Oh, there are people
who hold important positions in life. But person to person we are all
on the same level. Incomes vary, possessions contrast each other, and
maybe you don't have a room in the Lodge either. But you are as
important as that well dressed lady and we all stand together next to
the desk clerk and doorman in God's eyes.

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